Learn to live in the business

I just wasted at least 20 minutes testing out different ideas for one of my other blog themes...and I wonder why I don't feel that I get anything done sometimes.

Now I need to spend time with Jesus, and I feel too tired to focus. I am feeling again that I have too many plates spinning. My new business idea is getting close to being off the ground and I don't have enough time to really put into it. I need to get it going soon if I am going to have something available for sale at some point.

Then I also have this thing called a family, which also takes my time, this thing called a house, which needs attention, and this thing called work, where I must invest time in the children of today so that they don't grow up to become hellions and ruin our future.

Ok, that last comment is likely untrue, but sometimes I get so caught up with computer work at school that I don't spend any time conversing with the kids. That is the advantage of teaching high school, since they have a mind of their own, they can go to work on a project with minimal input from me.

All this to say that I feel very pressed for time. I am trying to stay organized and keep most of my ducks in a row, but sometimes I feel stuck and I cannot go anywhere. At that point I have learned that I really need to get up and do something different. If I don't then I will just run circles around the same problem for hours and not get anywhere.

I have difficulty sometimes figuring out where God actually fits in my world. He is supposed to infuse all parts, but there are days when I have difficulty "fitting him in." As if he were just a check on my list. I too often treat God like a check on my list. I just don't think about him beyond the 15 minutes that I give him every night. Sometimes a very distracted 15 minutes. I have tried a few things, like writing verses on cards (which I ignore), or praying more throughout the day (which I forget to do).

I know that my relationship with Jesus should flow from my heart, but what if my heart doesn't feel it? Do I rely on strategies that will hopefully bring me closer to him? What else can I do?

God, help me figure out how to live right now with all the plates that I spin and yet somehow also make you my center.

Maybe this week I will pray before each class period and repeat my verse at the beginning of my plan period. I could try that and see how it goes...

1 Samuel 19

20-24. This is such an interesting story. They cannot overtake David because they suddenly become temporarily "insane" and glorify God in the process. However, doesn't this kind of make the whole free will trait a little skewed? I mean if we have a choice, then how can God make us prophesy?

1 Samuel 18

1. Love at first sight does exist.

4. What is the equivalent of the gifts of Jonathan today?

Saul's scheming only ever backfired on him. I know there are times that I wish to have a specific outcome from a situation, and when I don't get it, I tried to find ways to make it work my way. Not often considering that there may be another solution to the issue.

Bring me back again

It's been a while since I've blogged. I have not really allowed myself really sit down to think.  

I've been consuming my thoughts with wanting to get an online business started again. And we'll see how it goes. But I have noticed lately that my anxiety has been raised. I don't want to fail again. And I worry about not having time to do it, and if I make the time to do it, I worry that I will sacrifice more important things. Things like: spending time with my kids, with my husband, building relationships with friends and students at school, giving up the very few hobby interests in which I currently indulge.

I know that they will have to be sacrifices. But I fear that I will sacrifice the wrong things.

I have especially been unfaithful lately to spend time with Jesus. There are times when I feel so close to my Father, but this is not one of them. I feel like maybe I am consumed with life right now. My priorities are not straight. And it makes me feel sad. My life is supposed to be a reflection of The love of God and I just don't feel close enough to him right now to be able to say that that's true of me.

I know that there'll be abs and flows just like there are in every relationship. I also know that I'm not always going to feel close to Jesus. I just have to know that he's near and trust that the feelings will follow.

Sometimes I wish l was perfect. But the only way that I can achieve that is through Jesus Christ. If I allow him to work in my life, the work that he does will be perfect.

 

Well it's time to do dishes now, be faithful in the small things, right?