Been a little...sluggish lately

I have been slightly unavailable lately, and by that I mean that I have not allowed myself enough time to slow down and actually HAVE bible study and prayer time.

IF I read it is very uncommitted. I do not put my whole mind into it, or I do it too late.

And when I pray it is mainly going through the list. I have not been allowing myself to sit quietly and reflect on the day or pray the words that come to my mind, which is how I often find faults in my character or attitude.

It has been busy in my life in between work starting up again and Emmett demanding most of my time at home. My evening quiet times often get shoved too late in the night to really be productive. I don't have the awareness that I would have if I had had enough sleep the night before and/or if I had started reading and praying an hour or so earlier.

My small group is doing a study through our church about recognizing personality character traits within yourself that hold you captive somehow. This week we went over Narcissism. Examples:

• Exaggerated view of self (obviously) 
• Grandiosity 
• Lack of Empathy
• Being unimpressed by others
• Refusing personal accountability

I have not listened to the sermon yet, so I will listen to it when it is released and hopefully get a better idea of how we are supposed to apply this. I was a little confused at group. Obviously, you do not want these characteristics to define you. It is not the way that Jesus taught or lived.

I couldn't say at group which one that I identified with most, but now that I have time to reflect, it may be "exaggerated view of self". I often feel that the privileges that I enjoy somehow make me superior to others, or the decisions that I have made, make me better. My decisions DO make me the person that I am today, but I am no more valued by God than anyone else. 

The verse that was given with this study is Philippians 2:3-8:

• Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,1 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,2 being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

This will be my new memorization verses for this week starting with three, and we'll see how far I get.

I will continue my Judges study in the mean time. Learning about the decay of a culture and a God who loves.