The Grace Awakening, Chapter 3

I don't think that the author and I are completely agreeing on everything here. I am a little skeptical of some of the things that he is saying.

In this chapter he is saying that grace is risky, which is true because there are many ways that people could misinterpret you when you preach it. For example, that you can continue sinning because God's grace covers all your sins. This is completely bogus. Romans states clearly in chapter six that this is not true. I have no argument there.

My argument comes when Charles talks about grey areas. He says that we live in grey areas and we are not to push our beliefs on others. I agree with the second part, but I do not agree with the first. I think that there are some areas that are "grey," like end times discussions (nobody really knows what is going to happen until it does) or how to pray to God. But there are issues that are very black and white, such as abortion, homosexuality, or how to achieve eternal life.

It isn't that I feel the need to get on a soap box and proclaim all these things, but I am also not going to say "This is what I believe, you choose what is right for you" because I KNOW I'm right.

Giving others grace is important, I know that and I understand that. I guess I just don't like the way that Charles Swindoll is presenting it in his book.

The book also just doesn't seem to be very engaging for me, I find myself not listening to the text as I read. I may read another chapter in the middle and then move on to something else. No use reading something if it is not challenging and engaging.

Comparison

Never ending. Whether I recognize that I am doing it or not, I am always doing it. I especially don't realize that I am doing it when my comparisons make me look good. It hurts more when I am comparing myself to someone that is better than me in many, many ways.

What brings this up?

We are going to see relatives this weekend. *sigh* She is a party planner, a super neat freak, and an all around super mom. At least, that is the face that she shows. I always feel inadequate, even though I know that it is stupid. That many of the things that she does are either unnecessary or make absolutely no difference when I am not around her.

I am who I am. I have flaws, yes, but a beloved creature of God and he loves me as I am.

Galatians 1:10
     For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

God, please help me to keep my perspective this weekend.

The Grace Awakening, Chapter 2

I have had a slightly frustrating evening. My 20 month old son was very cranky and I had two 20 minute car trips of screaming. I have not quite mastered the skill of peaceably ignoring such things. I am able to ignore to an extent, but I get pretty irritated, stewing in the front seat. I love my son very much, but some days he can be difficult, like all children, I suppose.

Ok, there is my rant, on to more important things. I have started this new online business selling digital cards. I am not really sure how it will go, but I am praying for patience, because I think that it will take some time and effort to get it to where it will be profitable.

I also want to be more intensional about my walk with Christ or in the ways that I display my faith, which I think means I will be sponsoring some kind of Christian club at school. I think that it will be really good and I think that I am more excited than I am scared :).

As I wrap up chapter 2 in The Grace Awakening, I am reflecting on our free gift: grace. Humanism is rampant everywhere in our society, elevating our achievements and our abilities. I this chapter, Charles wants to outline that while we can do a lot as humans, we can never enter heaven without divine intervention. You can't get there by following a set of rules, as the Pharisees did, nor by working really, really hard. It is called a gift because it cannot be earned. Grace is ours for the taking, we just have to choose it.

Passive Aggressive Disorder tendencies

This week at church we talked about Passive aggressive behaviors. The three ways that the passive aggressive person expresses himself is by:

1. defying requests from authority by doing the absolute minimum required of them (they make it easier for their bosses to do the job themselves than to ask this person to do it).
2. refusing to prepare for the future (will not compete and is never ready for when opportunities knock).
3. using your critique of their performance as a reason to leave the relationship.

It was also communion Sunday and I felt like this was a very good message for it. It really helped my self examine.

It is really easy to allow others to do things that I can do myself or to let a moment pass when I could have done something about a certain situation or said something that would make a difference. I find myself doing the minimum work required of me in several situations.

My goal this week is to be more intensional...but I am not entirely certain what that entails. I want to be intensional with my walk in Christ, obviously, and I think I could definitely improve there. But I also feel like I could be more intensional at work, too. One way would be to start a Bible club, which I have been approached about by a couple of students to sponsor FCA...but I am not a coach. So, I need some guidance there. Lord, I do want to do this, lead me in the day that I should go.

New book, The Grace Awakening, by Charles R. Swindoll

I have decided to read a "spiritual book" now instead of another book of the Bible. Not that I need a break, although, I probably should read a more...uplifting book of the Bible after that. I just haven't read a spiritual book in a long time and the timing seems right.

I am reading The Grace Awakening. The first chapter talked about what he calls "grace killers." These are "Christians" who are only concerned with following rules. This is what you get when you do not incorporate grace in your walk. God gave us grace. He has showed us favor even though we don't deserve it and can never earn it. So, we must also extend that grace to others.

If we can awaken ourselves to grace, we can expect to:

1. gain a greater appreciation for the gifts of others and our own (salvation, life, laughter. music. beauty. friendship forgiveness),
2. spend less time being critical of and concerned with the choices of others (less petty, allowing others to make their own decisions in life),
3. become more tolerant and less judgmental (cultivate a desire for authentic faith rather than a religion based on superficial performance),
4. become more mature.

We shall see how this goes. I have never blogged through a book before. I think it will be good, sounds interesting so far. I could definitely do better with #2, I can be very judgmental at times.

Judges Reflection

Now that I have finished this book...what should I say? 

Don't stray away from the truth just because those around you do. Remember God's teachings when you have thoughts about how good others seem to have it in comparison to you. You can easily get caught in allowing yourself to sin just because others say that it is ok, and then worse, believe that it is true.

Keep God's word with you at all times to guard against a fall back into evil ways. When it seems easy to skip a Quiet time, or break a promise,  or not have a servant's heart, remember how easy it is to get into a bad habit and how hard it is to break it.

When you do backslide, be humble enough to admit the mistake, repent, and move on, instead of trying to fix it by your own means. It will not end well, in the same way that the book of Judges did not end well.

whew! I can't believe that I am finally done reading Judges. Took me two and a half months to get through it, but I think that there were some good lessons in there. I don't know what I will read next. Our church is doing a study on personalities, I may just read a spiritual book until we finish with that, I know that there are a lot of books in my house that have not been read...

Judges 21

10: Who is this Jabesh-gilead, and why are they finding it ok to completely destroy them? They are not even Cannanite.
     They slaughtered a whole city because they would not join in a fight, but the city met their needs so they just took what they wanted from them. They made an oath when they agreed to join in the fight not to "supply wives" but this town did not. Their bad choice (the oath) was covered up by another bad choice (slaughter)...these things just snowball.

14: These poor women, I cannot think of many worse situations to be in.

15: "the Lord had made a breach in the tribes of Israel" - so now they are blaming their transgressions on God. I suppose many of us do the same things, especially when our perspective is off.

21: More unfair acts against women. I imagine that those girls didn't dance much after that.

God really does need to be at the forefront of our lives at all times. At the time, it seemed logical to shun an entire tribe and refuse to aid them in their mere survival. But in hind sight, they realized their grave mistake. Then they continued their evil deeds and never allowed God's council. God, please help me to make you the forefront of my mind before every decision and action.

Feeling satisfied today

I do not know what it is about checking things off of a list that is so satisfying...an odd sense of accomplishment that only I can appreciate. Today, I finished my list...I did't even cheat by adding small things to it to make it look like I did better than I did. 

*sigh*

I feel overall satisfied with my current position in life, too. I am no longer teaching yearbook, I have another career option in mind (so that I can possibly stay home some day), my son is really starting to blossom and learn (especially language, it is very fun around our house...most days), and more days than not, I leave work with nothing to finish over the weekend. Well, there may be a few things that I should do...but I have learned to put things off that are not top priority, at least in that area of my life.

I am praying now about that other career option that I mentioned above. I have realized that I haven't really talked to God about it too much. I have been doing a lot of research for it and made a few minor decisions, but I mostly just do my own thing and leave God out of it. 

I have opened an Etsy account and plan to sell digital cards. I want to sell those photo christmas cards, birth announcements, party invitations, and the like. I can't decide if I want to sell them as the raw file, which would be much easier because I can set up an automatic download for it, or if I want to sell JPEGs where I put in the information and the pictures, which would be safer because nobody could take or sell my stuff in turn.

With the baby on the way, I think I want to sell the raw file, much easier in the long run...but I don't know...I could do both. Lord, I know this is small, but give me wisdom!

Judges 20

13: Israel was reasonable in their request, yet the Benjamanites refused. So much bloodshed could have been avoided...

15-16: Again, stupidity. 26,700 men is impressive. But against 400,000...should we not be rethinking this?

18: This is the first mention of God in this matter. Why is he not consulted earlier?


23: The men of Judah went up against the men of Gibeah, and failed miserably, then when they inquire of the Lord he says, "Go again!" Is it faith or stupidity that made them go again?


28: Now that is the response that I would be looking for from God. (not that I ever get clear verbal responses from God. But this time, they were different in their approach. They fasted, they prayed, they were distressed. God tells us to ask with expectancy, but was the faith there in the first two tries?
     Based on what they did (fasting and prayer) it seems that they were more prepared to meet God. 

God responds to us when our hearts are in the right place. Israel went up against the enemy twice without consulting God with a humble heart. It took them two miserable defeats to get there, and sometimes that is what it takes for us, too. Lord, please make me aware of your leading presence and learn from mistakes quickly.

Histrionic Disorder Tendencies

Tonight at group we talked about our tendencies toward Histrionic behaviors.
First...what is it?

Basically, it is a specialized version of Narcissism. The Histrionic wants all the attention, it is not necessarily that they feel like they are better than everyone else, but they want everyone to know how they are feeling and what they are doing. This usually occurs at the expense of everyone listening.

There were a few attributes that we went over at church yesterday: They

1. must be the center of attention.
2. have strange ailments when they are not getting enough attention
3. have disproportionate responses. They are more important than everyone else, so when they talk to people, they always respond with a selfish response.
4. tempt people.
5. are skin deep. Everything is a drama.

If I were to relate to any of these, I think it would be the third one. I am not prone to want to be the center of attention (unless I am around friends, perhaps), but I know that I often do not know how to respond to people when they are telling me a story. I am often thinking about the next thing that I am going to say so that there is not that awkward lull in the conversation or so that I can have my part in the conversation.

1 Timothy 4:7-8. Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

If I were to pull anything away from this week it would be to really listen to people when they talk to me and allow the conversation to flow as it may. This way my responses can be a little more genuine.

We discussed at group today a challenge: celebrate someone who does not usually get attention. I know that I have loads of opportunity at school to do this, there are many kids that just allow life to happen around them instead of engaging and while I do make an effort to talk to each kid in each class (I have very small classes) I imagine that I could make an effort to really talk up someone's art or character in front others in the room.

Judges 19

1: Why are both of this and the previous stories about Levites?
     I think that it is appropriate Judges concludes with stories about Levites. It was their responsibility to lead the people to worship the one true God and their actions reflect the actions of the entire nation.

2: How was the concubine unfaithful to him? By going back to her father's house, or by being with another man?
     This was definitely a sexual relationship, not only is that the indication, but other versions of the bible say that she "played the whore against him." I was just trying to give her the benefit of doubt.

5: Why did the Father-in-law press him, because he liked him, or to keep his daughter home?

     He was just being hospitable, he was likely very glad that the Levite was not going to kill his daughter.

10: Being over frustrated can lead one to make bad decisions.

20: It does kind of amaze me the culture in which people live where taking in a stranger is an obligation and generosity is expected. Even in such a culturally immoral time, people still cared for one another (at least some of them did). If there was a man and all his belongings sitting in the middle of our town square, I would certainly not be the first to say, "Come, stay with me." I would fear for my safety and for the safety of those in my house.

22-26: Things are as bad as they were in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.

28: Heartless and cold. He does not care for her more than he cares for a donkey. What a sad existence. Samson may have been mad with passion and blind with lust, but at least he was capable of loving.

29-30: This is so unimaginable. It is hard to think that anyone could do such a thing. But, I have lived a sheltered life. There are perverted people out there...

The moral decay of this nation is unfathomable, people can be so evil. This makes me fear for my nation. Are we that far away from this? Sure, most people would not consider it ok to cut up a dead woman and send it in the mail, but many consider it ok to kill an unborn child or have sexual relations with another of the same gender. Touchy topics, I know, but still wrong and sinful. My God, save this nation from such debauchery, help me be the adopted child you have called me to be and commit to pray for our sad nation.